Dog Star
by hewithnoname
Summary: Harry is coming to terms with the prophacy in the only way he can. He has to also deal with Sirius's death. We find Harry serching for something, anything to cling to. Whilst his friend's have to deal with their own feelings.


**Dog Star**

Harry felt numb; he was just coming back from Dumbledore's office after hearing the prophecy. On top of losing Sirius, on top of dragging his friends to the Department of Mysteries, he now had to deal with this. He needed to get out of here, out of this place, out of this situation.

He wandered aimlessly, the chattering of the student's idle gossip was a red flag to his emotions. He climbed the stairs; he hid in secret passageways, finding no solitude in the dark damp walls. It would seem even the paintings were against him, mocking him by their desperate way of existence, the very way they clung onto live, still living, going on, living.

The knot in his stomach was reaching painful heights. His reply was cruel; it reminded him that he was still alive, if only to exist to defeat Voldermort. He didn't deserve to live, his only purpose for existence was to kill or be killed.

"Some future Potter." Harry mumbled to himself.

He had somehow ended up in the astronomy tower. The cold morning air ripped at his face, the feeling of pain was a comfort to him, he crouched down and sat on the cold stone floor, and a small tear fell from his eye. Harry closed his eyes to the world, hugging his legs to himself rocking back and forth.

Hermione woke up with a start, the pain in her chest causing her to cry out. She looked around, she wasn't dead; and the pain confirmed this. She had thought all of this was a dream. A horrible travesty of memories filling her mind tearing at her sole. But the reality was even more horrible to comprehend. She had a feeling that something wasn't right. She turned her head and saw Ron in the bed next to her asleep.

She needed to see Harry; a feeling of dread consumed her, and she knew he was in pain, that he needed someone to talk to. Maybe Sirius could help him? He had always helped Harry in some way or another. She was brought out of her thoughts when Ron stirred. The look in his eyes mirrored the feelings Hermione was thinking. There was something else though, more pain and sorrow than she had ever seen from one so close to her.

She felt cold; death had tried to take her, tried to get it's grip on her very being, but she had resisted, she had seen the look of her mortal existence, and it pleased her to know she had beaten death for now. She pulled the covers over her tighter. She felt safer now she was awake, and away from the dreams which haunted her.

Ron woke up; the pain from his arms was preferable to the pain in his heart. How do you tell somebody you know had died? How do you tell somebody you know that they had died a wasteful death? How can you help the person you think of as a brother deal with something even you are struggling to come to terms with, you don't want to come to terms with. For in doing so, it finalizes the death of somebody close to you.

He knew Harry was okay, the bond he shared with Harry was strong, akin to blood brothers. No, this he had to do; he had to help his brother, help him realize that the people around him were strong, they were stronger together as a group.

Ron felt shame; whilst Harry was duelling, he was running; while Harry was leading the Death eaters away from them, he was fighting the brain tentacles he had unwittingly summoned. Ron felt ashamed; he had let down his friends, his sister. Hermione was right, it had been a trap. Why hadn't he believed her? Was it just to win an argument? To prove her wrong? The pain flared in his arms again as a welcome reminder of his failure to his friends.

Ginny sat on the bed her ankle all healed. Her memories were another thing, the fear running through her. She had always wanted to be in the group. Well now she was in it, she had had first hand knowledge. She didn't want to feel that scared again. The image of Harry standing in front of her and protecting her filled her with hope, though it was quickly quashed at the news of Sirius. He had died a meaningless and wasteful death. A stray tear fell down her cheek. She was not going to cry and show weakness, she was stronger than that, she had to be strong for the group; for Harry.

At the thought of Harry all alone and in pain immeasurable, she wept. He had shown such strength, he always overcomes his sense of fear in he face of adversary, and it was this that frightened her the most. How was he coping? Where was he? Why was he not with them? If not to see her then surely for Ron and Hermione? This could be the final straw for Harry, the thing in which he might never return, and draw into himself. The death of Sirius could be a death sentence for his heart, he will pull into himself, exclude all others. "I won't let him; it is my turn to save Harry." Ginny mumbled defiantly to herself, before falling into an uneasy sleep.

Harry woke up; it was twilight, the sun had given up its claim for the day. Harry shivered and pulled his robes over himself. Had he really slept all day? Why didn't anybody come for him? Harry could think of one reason, but was it the right reason? They blamed him for Sirius's death, they must, the reason he was dead was because of him. He had had the vision, he had failed to practice and learn Occlumencey, he had lead his friends down to the Department of Mysteries, and he had been in a fight to the death with Death Eaters. When was this going to end? Harry knew the answer. "To kill or be killed." Could he really kill the most evil wizard of our time? The answer eluded him, he couldn't think straight.

Harry rose up from his crouched position, his legs screaming in protest. He felt dizzy the lack of food clouding his judgement. Harry looked to the sky though tears were hindering his vision. He had to find it, it was here somewhere, in the black backdrop of night. The bright flickering stars taunted him. Mocked his sullen mood. Harry looked up; clouds covered the area of sky he needed. He reached up, just to reach out, just for acknowledgment. For in doing so then all of this wouldn't be in vain, he had to find it, to see it, just for the briefest of moments; it was all he had left.

Ginny woke with a start; she had a strange feeling of dread; something wasn't right. She couldn't find Harry although she had looked in all the places Ron had told her to. She breathed in deeply; she tried to still her worried mind. "How does Harry do this? Where are you Harry? Please speak to me." She had a vision of the stars, under a black sky. She ran out of the dormitory and down the stairs to the tower.

Harry was tired. He was weak; he needed to find it, to see it, and he couldn't rest until he did. Continuous cloud cover fought against him, mocked him for the failure that was his life. He was frustrated. Anger was brewing up within him, struggling to breach it's confines. Harry climbed up on to the battlements, frantic with desire to reach out. He knew it was futile, the distance to great even for magic. Fury erupted within his very sole, the battle for control over. His anger had once again won over his self-control. He let out a throat-tearing cry. Never had such a sound been heard in the confines of the school; such was the sound that even the animals wept for him, for his grief.

Ginny ran as fast as she could, continually tripping over her robes, her frantic speed causing her to crash into objects. She ploughed through regardless; she had heard a cry which held such sorrow, such grief. She didn't notice the tears falling down her face. Harry was in trouble, Harry needed help; this was her chance to help him, to offer some payback. She ran to the top of the tower. The sight she saw would haunt her until the day she died. Harry was standing on top of the battlement arms stretched out to the black lifeless sky, tears falling down his face, his eyes ablaze with anger.

She grabbed hold of his robes and pulled him down. They fell down in a heap on the floor.

"What are you doing Ginny?" Harry looked into her eyes and found only compassion. The anger was being substituted for something else. A new feeling that was alien to him. What was it? Could he use it? Did he need it?

"Where have you been Harry? We were so worried."

"I've been up here all day" Harry could hardly talk, his throat was sore.

"What have you been doing Harry?" Her voice was quiet and gentle.

"Looking for something but I can't find it." Said Harry dropping his head down in defeat.

"Well, what you looking for up here?" She placed her hand on Harry's arm.

He looked up to her, tears clouding his vision, but he could make out that Ginny was crying as well.

"A sign, a signal, I just don't know, I don't know anything anymore." Harry sighed and lowered his head further.

Once more Ginny took his arm, and also lifted his head.

"Lets look for your signal Harry." She had a fairly good idea what Harry was looking for, but the cloud cover would hinder them. She saw the look of total dejection in his eyes, and embraced him to her breast, stroking his hair and rocking him back and forth. Harry finally broke down, the tears falling freely. He had no desire to stop them, nor did he have the ability to stop them. All he wanted was the pain to subside.

"I miss him so much, I'm so sorry I failed you Sirius."

"What are you on about Harry?" Ginny politely asked.

"It was a trap, Ginny, and I felt for it. I nearly got you all killed, it's all my fault." Harry sobbed uncontrollably. She embraced him tighter, trying to take away his pain and suffering.

They didn't know how long they stayed there, as they were oblivious to their surroundings. A light breeze blew around them causing them both to shiver, bringing them back from their grief. Ginny looked up to the sky and smiled.

"Harry look up, and tell me what you see?" Harry wiped his eyes and looked up.

"Hope, Ginny, hope" Harry got up and pulled Ginny up with him.

"Is that the sign you were looking for Harry?"

"I don't know, Ginny. But it's better then nothing, so it will do for now." Harry smiled and turned to Ginny. "Lets go down, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Coming?"

"Yes, Harry, I would love to."

They both left the darkness of the night and made their way down to the kitchens. High above them in the blackness of space and time, a lone star stood out pulsing and shining. It stood for light and power and protection.

Sirius The Dog Star.


End file.
